Stay Gold

I’m sure at some point every generation has said this, but if I hear that “these kids today are worse than they have ever been,” the Kentucky boy in me just might have to make an appearance. Seriously. It’s getting old and honestly, that comment is only a reflection of yourself. I know that sounds harsh but it’s the truth.

The problem, and the worst thing that any adult working with children can do, is to forget. When we forget, we make assumptions that those kids are there for the same reasons we are when the fact is they are not. We have different priorities than they do and that’s just a fact. We want them to learn while they just want to have fun. But you don’t remember that for some reason, do you?

Be honest with yourself for a moment. When you were their age, what was the last thing you were interested in? I know that when I was in high school, the last thing I cared about was what was going on in the English classroom, except for maybe the girls across the room. Grammar? Boring. Literature? It wasn’t anything I wanted to read, so again, boring. And writing? Ugh. None of it appealed to me but I did enough of what I needed to do to keep the teacher and my parents off my back. I would have much rather been hanging out with my friends, listening to my music, or honestly anything other than what my English teacher wanted me to do. 

So why is it that when kids act and feel the same way we did, we say “these kids are terrible and worse than ever?” What makes them so terrible? The fact that they are just like you were? It goes back to my point: that we forget what it was like and when we do that, it shades all of our interactions with them and they know it. They can feel it from you and it’s damaging to the learning environment.

Now, ask yourself, what could have made that classroom a little better for you, if anything? I’m not saying I have the answers but maybe we as the adults can do something different. For one, we can at least act like we want them to be there. I like my students, no matter how idiotic and goofy they can be. Trust me, them saying “67” every time they turn around could be so much worse. They could be saying some of the more inappropriate things we used to say. At least they’re just being goofy kids, which is what they are. Take my advice: jump in there and be just as silly from time to time even if you are the butt of the joke. They will see a whole different side of you and it may impact that classroom for the better.

Also, remember this. Most of the stuff we want them to do is completely boring to them. Being bored with our stuff doesn’t make them the morons you think they are. It makes them kids and as the adult in the room, you need to find ways to make it connect with them. If you can’t, you’ll only compound the problem. Never change the learning priorities but at least try to make it fun and be the idiot who tries to connect with them. Build a relationship with them and have fun doing it. Trust me: they get so much of the opposite from other adults, at least they’ll be slightly entertained as you are trying to teach them and that connection will pay off, I promise. 

One of my favorite poems by EE Cummings says (technical errors intended if you know anything about him as a poet:

Children guessed(but only a few

And down they forgot as up they grew

That’s one of the saddest lines ever to me. It reminds me that we are cursed to forget as we grow up and that just stinks. That breaks my heart for them and for us as adults but what can we do? I say fight it. As Johnny told Ponyboy and our generation: “Stay gold.” I really do believe that’s the key. 

These kids are worth it. And you are too.