At this point, I want to spend the next 8-10 blog entries talking about each individual chapter and provide some insight for the reader into what I was trying to do. To accomplish this, I will need to start with the songs. When I released the book back in January, I made an announcement on Facebook and even provided a link to my Spotify playlist that accompanies it. One of my former students hilariously commented, “Of course, there’s a playlist.” Music is a huge part of who I am and has been for as long as I can remember.
I was blessed to grow up in a music loving household. I am the youngest of four children and had the benefit of each family member’s musical influence. My dad loved everything Elvis and classic country and my mom loved the Carpenters and John Denver. My oldest brother was all about Classic Rock like The Who and Bruce Springsteen, my middle brother liked the Southern Rock of Lynyrd Skynyrd and 38 Special and “Modern Rock” like Foreigner and Night Ranger, and my sister had Michael Jackson, Prince, and Madonna all on vinyl. I soaked up every single one of those influences and hundreds of more. The first album I ever bought was Queen’s Flash Gordon soundtrack in 1980. Epic.
But just as big of an influence on me was the early days of MTV. I watched it all the time from 1981 when it first appeared until the late 80’s. MTV introduced me to so much music that became the soundtrack for my life. And it was all over the spectrum which is why my tastes are the same. Classic Rock, New Wave, New Romantic, Early 80’s Modern Pop, Metal, Hair Metal, Rap, Mid and Late 80’s Modern Pop, Thrash Metal…man, the 80’s were all over the place and I loved every second of it. My tastes were all over the place and still are.
I started writing my memoir in the summer of 2023 and I don’t know when it hit me to use “My Favorite Songs” playlist as a way to structure the individual narratives of my book, but it really worked. It was probably because of the long drives I often had to take for the job and the thoughts about the patients going through my head as I listened to whatever playlist I had cued up, but slowly I started to piece it all together. The songs were all there in my playlist and something weird happened. As I was putting everything together, each individual narrative started to claim its own song from the list and they worked perfectly, even providing clues, context, and insight into the various individuals.
So what about the theme song? In 1988, I saw the video for “If We Never Meet Again” by Tommy Conwell and the Young Rumblers and I immediately connected with it. I have always loved Roots Rock and their bluesy yet modern sound spoke to me so I went and bought the cassette tape (yes, we used to do that…hear one song and then go buy the album). That song made it to My Favorite Songs playlist eventually and I still listen to it today. When it came time for me to name the book, it was my first choice and just clicked.
Most would say that the song is about a break up and trying to move past that but context matters. I love the fact that a song can have meaning beyond its own limitations, and with a different context it can mean something no one intended. You don’t believe me? Take Aretha Franklin’s “Respect.” It’s a song about female empowerment right? Where she’s “about to give you all my money, and all I ask for in return honey…” is a little respect. Wow! A woman in 1967 saying I have the monetary and sexual power here and if you want it, you’d better show some respect. That’s amazing. But guess what? The song was written by Otis Redding and when he sang those similar words in 1965 it wasn’t exactly about female empowerment. Now, does that take away from Aretha’s amazing rendition and its meaning? Absolutely not because of context. Even Otis realized that before the tragic end of his own life when he finally accepted that “it belonged to her.”
One thing that I really like about this song is that even with its subject matter, it’s not a sad song. In fact, it’s actually quite upbeat which for me makes it less sad and more contemplative, and even celebratory, which made it perfect for my book. For me, “If we never meet again,” isn’t about a break up. It’s about finding a way to move forward after something powerful ends:
If we never meet again,
If goodbyes remain unspoken,
I won’t glorify our past,
But our bond remains unbroken,
If we never meet again
When you work in hospice, you inevitably have many powerful moments and connections. It doesn’t matter if it lasts 2 weeks or 6 months. Having to say goodbye after connecting with someone so intimately can weigh on you and you go through it over and over again. For me, it’s that unbroken bond that I get to carry with me that helps me make sense of it all. When you sit beside someone in their final moments, try to comfort them as best you can, and then walk away, you can’t help feeling a bond with that person. It’s powerful, and the song captures it perfectly which is the reason why I made it the theme.
Matthew M Cornett 